I jumped on a trampoline today for the first time in about three years. My leg is finally healed up and I have been released to "full" activity and so me and my fully active leg jumped on a trampoline. I can't recommend it enough!!!
I've come to realize that there are days when you must take the time to jump on a trampoline! BUT, if you are really lucky there are times when you GET to jump on a trampoline.... while NAKED! (Don't start getting any lewd or "perv-ish" images or innuendos)
Let me clear this up with the story behind the Naked Trampoline jumping. First of all, it wasn't me! So... yeah! Get that thought out of your heads (except the cuties out there! That's a freebie!)
The way it all happened was like this...
We have a trampoline in our backyard with one of those big safety nets around it. It's fun to watch the kids all jump on it for hours at a time. Not to mention, it allows the kids to "wear themselves out" before taking their energy out on the inside of the house. And it gives me time to write when I am up against a deadline.
One of my sons (I have 4 sons and 2 daughters. I won't say which son this was in order to avoid any "embarrassment".) was having a "surplus" of energy inside the house and was leaving a path of destruction from room-to-room, so I grabbed his socks and shoes and sent him outside for some "jumping time".
When a child is 4 years old you have to make it your mission to take ownership of their shoes or you will be late to EVERYTHING. A four year old could lose one shoe from the pair in less than 5 minutes. And not ust lose it for a little while but lose it as in Devil's Triangle or Twilight Zone lost.
I'm certain that thousands of years from now, when archeologists are excavating our "homestead" they will postulate that we had a house full of one legged children, because we have successfully lost at LEAST 6 single shoes from pairs. CRAZY!
So, I had pulled his shoes down from the top of the "coat and shoe" rack and had tied the shoes into double knots and sent him outside with the warning, "Do NOT take your shoes off! There is some poison oak we still have to get rid of and if you take you shoes off you will catch it! I repeat... do... not... take... your... shoes... off" (You never know if they actually absorb what you say, so it never hurts to try it another time.)
As he ran off the back porch, I reminded him AGAIN, "Don't take your shoes off!" The actual threat of the poison oak was mostly for show. More than anything I didn't want to lose another pair of shoes. Seeing him climb up into the trampoline, with his shoes on, I felt a little more assured that both shoes would be coming back and I went back to writing.
No more than ten minutes later, sister came to my room and said, "Dad! Did you know that (Name Withheld) is jumping on the trampoline... NAKED?" I know I shouldn't be surprised, or puzzled, anymore, but I must confess that I had trouble formulating a response and quickly jumped up to investigate. (In my haste I ran outslde without my shoes and ended up getting a bit of poison oak on my foot)
Yup! (Name Withheld) was jumping on the trampoline naked! But, with his shoes on!!! My first response was to jokingly say, "Soooo, it's a little chilly out today, huh?" Because I'm a Dude and that's what Dudes joke about when naked-idity is involved in the outdoors. But, I restrained myself because I"m mature! And because, hell, he was only 4 and wouldn't have understood the joke and then I would have been stuck explaining the effects of cold air and cold water on male junk.
In place of the joke I asked, in the most nonchalant tone I could conjure, "Son of my loins, why are you jumping on the trampoline naked?" Not a question you could ever imagine asking your child, and yet...
This was the response... "I wanted to jump naked! But I STILL have my shoes on!!"
For the life of me I couldn't remember if I had ever given a rule covering the possibility of jumping naked on the trampoline. We had rules for how many could jump at a time, no "weapons" while jumping on the trampoline, no animals on the trampoline, no food or drinks while jumping, and of course, keeping your shoes on while you jump, but, oddly enough, nothing "covering" nudity while jumping.
"New Rule....!", I announced as I helped him off the trampoline and dressed him back in his shorts and shirt. He had the BIGGEST grin on his face and I just had to ask, "Was it fun?" He just smiled at me with the "you will never know how much fun!!" smile and climbed back onto the trampoline.
Of course it was FUN! He didn't need to tell me it was fun!! How could it not be fun to be jumping naked and free on a trampoline??? But, there is NO WAY a grown-up could EVER get away with jumping on a trampoline while naked... right? Besides the fact that it would break every law of decency not to mention that there are "things" that just need to be "supported" and covered on the human body... and that's all I will say. There would be entirely too much "collateral bouncing" going on with different areas of the body.
But wait... maybe if Sarah Palin wanted to.... NOO! (But then again...) ANYWAY!!!!
But, doesn't it just sound liberating?? Jumping naked on a trampoline!! The pure and innocent joy of "letting go" and "being free". After much deliberation I have determined that it's a fact of life, and yet a true tragedy at the same time, that, after reaching a certain age, we cross a line and will NEVER get that chance to jump on the trampoline... ever again... while NAKED!
